my popup Advertiser: 2005

Saturday, September 24, 2005

A Letter to Dad

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the
bed. It was addressed,"Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the
envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom
and you. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice --
even with all her piercings, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes.

But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that
we will be very happy. Even though you don't care for her as she is so
much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a
stack of firewood for the whole winter.

She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my
dreams too. Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and
we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the
cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science
will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of

Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your

Your son,

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house.

I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than
my report card that's in my desk centre drawer. I love you! Call when it
is safe for me to come home